Change is painful. I have been reading TD Jakes’ book Crushing and it is about pressure that turns into power. The book is about transformation that happens amidst excruciating pain. I have been experiencing change and with it great pain. Pain that brings tears because everything feels out of control. Pain that causes a depressive state and leaves you feeling hopeless. The type of pain that only transformation brings.
I have learnt in this past season, as I journey with my coaching clients and through my own ups and downs, that change creates ‘healing pain’. Yes, think about it. After surgery your body needs to heal and this pain is not destructive pain because a part of your body is dying, it presents healing pain. So instead of focusing on the pain, let’s focus on the healing it brings and the nature of its ability to transform.
Instead of focusing on the pain let us fix our eyes on the changes that is are occurring in our lives. In what areas have your attitude changed? Under what circumstances have you seen the worst and best of yourself? How far have you been pushed physically and financially? How low is your lowest low and at what new level can you now celebrate a little win considering how high your previous highs were. Face it. You have changed.
This new season has taught me, reluctantly I must add, compassion. I have new eyes and appreciation for things I never even considered to be valuable or a blessing. My walk is forever impacted. I will never see struggle, poverty, success, need, lack or joy the same. I am not sure at what level of pain you are functioning at the moment and I am not sure how hopeful you are trying to be. I want you, if you can, to embrace this painful season as a transformational moment. Don’t fight it, embrace it.
How to deal with pain caused by Change that is out of your control:
1. Surrender. Stop fighting it. Just wave your white flag and lay down your weapons.
2. Embrace it. Don’t deny it and do not try to escape it. Welcome it into your life.
3. Adjust. Make room for new ways of thinking and feeling and living.
4. Join the current. Seeing that you can’t stop it, lay back and go where change is taking you.
5. Process. Take time to think about what was but also what can be.
6. Become a fan. Yes, adjust your attitude and get excited about this new reality.
7. Have grace. Be kind to yourself and allow the pain of healing to transform you.
Healing pain that brings transformational change.